365 Days
by V.Johnes
Summary: Sequel to "A Storm just Came" it starts the exact next day after the previous story finished. Please read the first story to understand what's going on! My take on Season 12.
1. DAY 1: I'm fine (common lies)

**Criminal Minds Season 12 ~365 Days ~**

 **A/N: Hey! This is the sequel to my story "A Storm just Came" it starts the exact next day after the previous story finished. Please read the first story to understand what's going on! Most chapters will be short day by day chapters (at least for the beginning till we get some of the major cases) I'll try to update often although I can't promise anything (sadly) since it's my last year in university and I'll have to work on getting my degree.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

 **Chapter 1: Day 1**

 ** _DAY 1: I'm fine (common lies)_**

 ** _~The Average person tells 4 lies a day and 1460 a year. The most common lie is "I'm fine"~_**

 _August 31_ _st_ _, 2016_

 _9:00_

 _Dave's Mansion_

Living together would be a challenge they all knew that, you can't just put a bunch of alpha males and females together and not expect an explosion to occur yes they were friends for years and yes they loved each other to death but actually sharing a house or a living room or kitchen? Were they actually willing to do that? Apparently they had to but were they going to? Hotch was sitting on the sofa watching Derek and Will moving boxes inside, he'd been grounded to the couch from Emily when he tried to move his suitcase up the stairs. Dave was sitting next on to him looking at all the havoc in his once pristine house.

"If you take out the fact that there are 20 something psychopaths out to get us this looks almost fun." Hotch said raising his coffee mug to his lips.

"Yeah right." The older man answered sarcastically.

"No seriously it could be" Dave looked at the stupid grin on his friends face,

"How many painkillers has Emily fed you?"

~o~o~o~

 _10:00_

 _Quantico, VA._

 _FBI Academy_

Elle looked around the room, everyone was back in their post by now, the whole bullpen was buzzing with life, if one looked around no one would know that just a short two weeks previously had happened, everything was swept away, out of sight out of mind, the windows replaced, everything back in perfect working order. She walked to her office across from Penelope's who still hadn't come back to work and walked in leaving her door open. She walked to the desk and sat down looking at her desk, looking at the pictures of her family there, Gideon was in all of them, of course, a smile appeared on her face when she remembered that she didn't have to go back to an empty house any more. Although she couldn't go to her house, it still didn't bother her that much.

"Hey boss brought coffee." She raised her head and faced Jordan Todd standing just a shy step inside the room holding a cup of coffee from the shop across the street, Elle smiled and the other agent walked in the room placing the cup softly on the desk, "Do we have any new cases?" she asked, everyone who knew Jordan, especially Dave, had been shocked with her decision to come back to the BAU, her tenure there wasn't the easiest and they had all thought that she would prefer to stay away from the Unit, but apparently she was willing to give her dream job (in her words) another go.

"No not really, we have some calls from some P.D.s thought from where some of the serial killers originally were asking for updates on the matter, most of them are afraid that they'll go back home and create havoc once again." Jordan took a sip from her cup still steaming in her hands.

"I don't think they'll go back home that soon, till they make a move we don't even know who's out there. I want you to gather the team in the conference room, while our favorite psychopaths might be free we still have to figure out who set them free."

~o~o~o~

 _12:00_

 _Dave's Mansion_

Aaron was lying on the bed, his shoulder and clavicle were killing him, he had his eyes closed trying to take deep breaths. He knew that Emily was downstairs with JJ, Will, Hayden and Dave watching Gideon and Michael getting to know each other so he knew that he had some time to himself. Although he'll never admit it to anyone he was relieved of not having to go back to his apartment, everything seemed to be reminding him of the moment SWAT stormed in and arrested him, those memories were so strong that from time to time he seemed unable to even remember the good times he had in this apartment. All he could remember is that he got arrested in front of his son. All he could hear were Jack's screams and the door breaking. Not laughing with Emily, not playing with Jack, not having fun with Dave during poker night, it was as if all those moment were erased, almost completely from his memory.

He felt a hand through his hair and his eyes flew open, for a moment, just a short one in the haze of all the pain he couldn't figure out whose hand it was. His eyes though focused fast on Emily who was sitting on the bed next to him, a sweet smile on her face, then he felt her other hand on his face and leaned towards it.

"Are you feeling better? I saw you taking a few too many painkillers before." He whispered, slowly lowering herself to lie on the bed next to him.

"I'm fine… I just… I worked myself a bit harder than I should." His eyes were looking over her shoulder to the bathroom door trying to avoid staring straight in her eyes, something that didn't went unnoticed by her, "Aaron" she sighed "Please don't lie to me." He opened his eyes and looked at her straight in the eyes "It hurts." He responded, "Hurts a lot" she looked straight into his eyes noticing his constricted pupils. "How many did you take today?"

"Two" he breathed out "Stopped for a while but still hurts." Emily noticed his slow breathing, as well as the stillness of his body. "How long ago?" she tried to speak softer, she knew from his tightly shut eyes that he was starting to get a headache. "It's been four hours." The words were getting out of his mouth with difficulty, "Aaron you should take another." He nodded softly no while still keeping his eyes tightly shut.

"Aaron." Emily insisted but so did he, barely managing to blur out that he would be fine without it. She could understand that he didn't want to take any more painkillers, thinking that he can handle it without them, but he was in pain and she hated seeing him like that. "I could run you a bath, maybe warm water will ease the pain?" she suggested and she was please to see him nodding positively not to long after "Will you join me?" he asked her, the smile on his lips missing out on the usual mischief Emily could find easily there, she still smiled back not letting him know she knew that something was wrong with him and maybe it was something worse than he was willing to admit.

"You know I'll never miss out on that opportunity." She joked "Stay put." She kissed his temple and saw him closing his eyes again before she disappeared in the small en suite bathroom.

~o~o~o~

 _12:00_

 _Quantico, VA_

 _FBI Academy_

Matt looked up from the pile of papers he had in front of him signing, this whole pile would never lessen. He dropped his pen and leaned back on his chair taking a couple of deep breaths. He heard his cell vibrating on the desk and opened his eyes to see JJ's image appearing on screen, he smiled at the phone and picked it up.

"Hey Jen."

 _"_ _Mattie, I'm in Quantico, are you free for lunch?"_ he looked at the clock across from his desk and then the pile of files on his desk thinking that in reality he didn't have time not only for lunch but even for eating.

"Sure, where are you?" he asked deciding to forget about the paperwork for a while.

 _"_ _Outside your office!"_ Matt smiled and got up from the chair hanging up the phone, he grabbed his wallet opting to leave his blazer in the office and opened the door coming face to face with JJ's smiling face.

"Shall we?" she asked.

The walked to the small dinner few streets over and occupied their usual table by the window. The window was open and the soft breeze was hitting them softly, "I love the air." Matt muttered

"What?" JJ looked up from the catalogue in front of her and looked at her friend "Oh nothing, I just say I love that breeze." He smiled back at her and took his catalogue checking over what to order, although they both knew what they'll get.

"You fellows are ready?" their waitress, a girl no older than eighteen came over them, "Well I'll have a sailor sandwich but with regular mustard." Matt said giving her the catalogue, JJ rolled her eyes "How groundbreaking" she whispered smiling at him "And I'll have a BLT" JJ said giving both their catalogues to the girl

"How surprising Mrs. Jareau! A BLT!" Matt felt his mood significally improving since he left the academy. "Yeah just like you which time is this that you are ordering a sailor sandwich?"

~o~o~o~

 _12:30_

 _Dave's Mansion_

Emily and Aaron were both relaxing in the tub, Aaron leaned back resting his head against the wall. While Emily was leaning back on his uninjured side hugging his waist closer to her "Aaron" she whispered "Is there anything bothering you?" her question was met with silence but she knew that he was awake. His reluctance to speak did indeed hurt her but she knew better than keep pressing, she married one hell of private person after all, he needed his time before he would tell her what was bugging him so badly the whole day.

He closed his eyes and tried to even his breath, maybe foul Emily into believing that he was asleep, and maybe she wouldn't ask him about it. This was a part of his past that he wasn't all too keen on talking about. How could he after all? How can you explain about the fact that your own father abused to death the same pills you came so close to using to end your own life when seventeen and now need to get up from the bed? She knew his already messed up present and close past, there was no need to burden her with this part of his history as well. He was afraid that this might be the final drop, that last thing that might make her say enough is enough and run away from him for good this time. Maybe that way… if she never finds out maybe she won't…

 _17:00_

 _Washington D.C._

 _D.C. Police First Substation_

Will loved his work, he absolutely loved being a police officer. When he was away from it, when Henry was younger he was feeling a little less happy than he should, a little more melancholic maybe, like something was missing, at the best time of his life, spending time with his newborn (firstborn) son just wasn't as fulfilling as he thought it would be after a little while. The older Henry got the less he needed him to be over his head 24/7, the less useful he felt.

Today though was the first day he was eager to get out of the station and back home, or Dave's mansion which for God knows how long will be everyone's home. There were 24 serial killers, 24 freaks out there ready to brutally kill his family for revenge. He needed to be close to his boys and wife, he needed to be there to help protecting his family. He knew that one more gun wasn't enough against those people, and he did knew that if they wanted they could kill them all before they had a chance to do a thing. It was more the illusion of safety that nothing could happen if he was there. He knew deep down that a mare police officer with minimum training on serial killers couldn't really do anything to help the best trained team of the country on them, nothing more than offer brute force if they needed it. Just another gun, few more bullets in their arsenal and maybe that was enough, maybe not, anyway he didn't want to know.

He gathered his things and left the station in lighting speed, barely even talking to his partner before he bolted out the door and straight to his car. As he drove home he couldn't help but wonder if his life will ever again have any sense of normality. The same feeling he took for granted while he was in New Orleans because it was a given, the same feeling he despised after he met her because it meant that he could never have her, the same feeling he missed every time she came home hurt. He truthfully didn't know if he wanted it (not that he'll admit that to anyone, even himself) but he missed it, because maybe then he wouldn't have to speed home in fear of what he'll find there.

Even if that was just a family in war… with each other.

~o~o~o~

 _19:00_

 _Dave's Mansion_

When Matt walked out of his car he noticed that many of the windows of the house had light, almost all of the house had light but the living room, it frankly made him check his watch just to make sure he wasn't that late coming home. It was just a little past 7 am and no one seemed to be in the living room, or dining room. He remembered JJ telling him that she was going to cook tonight and not be late, that's why he took some of his files home, hoping to ask Dave at dinner if he could use his office to finish them but now the lights were off in the kitchen and dining room. For a moment he thought that JJ's cooking attempted floated and everyone went to sleep early but then he remembered that JJ was actually a great cook so that didn't make any sense. He shrugged and walked up to the house unlocking the door and walking in, the table looked in pristine order as if no one had eaten there, he turned and noticed the note on the alarm _'Cruz set the alarm! –D'_ he looked at the post it and ripped it off, it was a bit weird that Dave called him by his last name but he shrugged it off setting the alarm and walking to the kitchen see if there were any leftovers for him. He opened the fridge and found a plate covered with aluminum foil and a post it with JJ's handwriting _'Sorry there won't be dinner tonight but enjoy yours. Love U xxxJJ'_ he smiled and took the plate out raising the coverage to see his meal, his favorite fried chicken. He was curious with what JJ meant when she said _there won't be dinner tonight_ but he was also so tired that he needed to eat and go to sleep. He'd have to ask JJ tomorrow what happened that's for sure, but for now he would settle with his meal and warm bed…

 **~We live in a house on fire. No fire department to call, no way our~**

 **A/N: This is the first chapter. I'm already working on Chapter 2, hopefully it won't be long before I post it. Please let me know if you like this chapter till next time, have fun!**


	2. DAY 2: Monsters (And inner demons too)

**Chapter 2: Day 2**

 **A/N: Thanks for reviewing, following and liking this story sooo so much.**

 **DAY 2: Monsters (And inner demons too)**

 ** _~Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They live inside us and sometimes they win.~_**

 _September 1st, 2016_

 _5:00_

 _Dave's mansion_

Emily couldn't sleep, she just couldn't, watching Aaron twitching and moaning and sweating in his dream, facing some demons he couldn't or wouldn't tell her about was eating her alive. The first time he woke crying she woke with him, held him and soothed him back to sleep but she couldn't. Took him less than three minutes before the fight started again… she got up and walked to the balcony doors in the corner of the room watching at the dark night outside multiple times walked back to bed, lied down, tried to sleep, awoke again, walked to the bathroom, took a shower, walked back in the room, opened the TV, closed it, opened the laptop, checked her emails, turned off the laptop, went back to sleep again.

It was exhausting, slowly was draining her he wouldn't talk to her refusing stubbornly to let her know what that thing that bothered him that much was. It was near five in the morning the last time he woke, she was sitting on the bed reading her book and occasionally glancing at him, "Hey." He greeted her softly, Emily placed the book on the nightstand and turned towards him to face him, he looked far more relaxed than a man who spent all night having nightmares. She smiled and leaned forward, her lips touching softly his, in a small good morning kiss. "Hey back." she whispered against his lips.

"Slept well?" they parted and saw him getting up from the bed continuing their morning routine asking her how she slept as if nothing happened.

"Yeah, who knew Dave had such comfortable beds." She noticed his smile as he stood at the door of the bathroom his hand on the knob "I'm sorry if I kept you awake last night." He softly whispered, Emily stood up from the bed and walked the short distance to the door and placed a hand on his uninjured shoulder, "Aaron you don't have to apologize for that, we both have bad days. Maybe if you talked about it you'd feel better." She suggested but instead felt him tense under her fingers. "It's not a big deal" he murmured and shut the door behind him.

~o~o~o~

 _7:30_

 _Dave's mansion_

Emily had to admit this was the most awkward breakfast she had ever taken with anyone, ever. The only ones talking at the table were the kids, the three boys chatted happily about the day at school, enjoying the fact that Kai would be joining them there too. The adults however wouldn't speak to each other, all of them were just focusing on the plate ahead of them. they hadn't fought as someone might have guessed, no harmful words were exchanged between them, but the ice between them was apparent, maybe they weren't cut out to live together. They knew that this was a possibility but Dave stubbornly refused to admit defeat. He also refused to risk their lives.

"How's things at the BAU?" Hotch asked Elle startling everyone on the table.

"Oh for God's sake people we all are walking on eggshells with each other, trying to act like we don't care about what happens at the BAU!" Hotch's sudden explosion took everyone on the table by surprise, although it was true. Alpha 1 more often than not seemed to avoid talking or even interacting with Alpha 2, "I for one am not afraid or ashamed to admit that I do miss my job. And unlike the rest of you I am quite thankful that we'll have another team on equal footing to help us out with the cases especially since for the next couple months our team will be down three members." He said showing Emily himself and Derek.

"Hotch we never said that." JJ protested. "No?" Hotch said mockingly, "Seriously? Because we live here a day and you haven't said a word to Kate or Alex or Elle. And Dave" he snapped turning to look at his friend "Elle's team got two new members Jordan Todd and Ashley Seaver but I don't see you ordering them to move in here. Ashley's father is one of the escaped convicts don't you think she'll be in danger?" he stopped and looked around the table at the shocked and silent faces of his friends "I'm not hungry." He murmured "Could you get me some of my files on your way home Elle?" the brunet smiled and nodded at the man who after kissing his wife and son left the room.

~o~o~o~

 _9:00_

 _Arlington, VA_

 _Café Sequoia_

Hotch left the house as fast as he could after the morning fight, he followed Emily driving Jack, Henry and Kai to school and afterwards they found themselves in the same café that few days ago she had met his mother in.

"I'm sorry for… well this morning." He apologized. Emily reached across the table and took his hands in hers. "You don't have to apologize Aaron, what you said was right we all acted as if we were in war with each other. And apparently Dave wanted me to tell you that we will have two more roommates." She smiled and squeezed his hands. "What does worry me is you. You are hiding something from me lately." Hotch let a resigned sign and lowered his head. "It's not that I don't want to tell you… it's just." He raised his head and Emily met his pain filled eyes. "Just what?" she asked,

"You might not want to… be with me afterwards." He turned his eyes away in shame, and Emily felt a lump on her throat. "Aaron." She said with pleading voice. "Aaron!" Emily reached and turned his head to face her. "There is nothing in this world that will make me not want to be with you. Nothing!" she declared with strong voice.

He took a deep breath and smiled at her sadly. "Have I ever told you about my childhood?" he asked, Emily frowned puzzled trying to remember what he had told her about it. "That you were really close to your mom and you were more of a father than a brother to Sean. Your mom told me you were actually a really cute baby but nothing else."

"My… father…" he took a couple of deep breaths before he continued "He was an alcoholic and later in his life he started abusing Oxycodin and Vicodin, I… I later found out it was because he was diagnosed with lung cancer I don't know what came first though, the addiction or the diagnosis. In the end he died… heart attack caused by overdose. Sean doesn't know about that part… he only knows the heart attack and both my mother and I agreed in keeping it that way. It wasn't the only thing we kept from him about our father anyway." He looked up and saw Emily looking back at him her eyes filled with nothing else but love took a small weight from his shoulders "I know you've seen some… scars." He raised his sleeve up to his forearm to show a long jacked scar on the inside of his arm "Broken bottle at ten." He whispered Emily's hand flew to her mouth and he noticed the tears which were slowly filling her eyes. "The one you asked me" he raised his left hand to his head showing the small scar on his hairline often hidden by his hair. "Glass. I was eight" Emily moved her chair right next to him and wrapped her arms around him "I'm so…"

"Please don't say sorry." He whispered in her shoulder.

"Mad!" she pulled back and looked at him in the eyes. "I'm mad that this happened to you. I'm furious! Didn't your mom know?" she looked at his face falling "Oh my god. Her too?" he answered with a small nod. "Sean?"

"Never, he was his golden boy. Actually he was too young to do something wrong and when he did; mom and I took the blame. At least he could be happy in that damn house." Emily tangled her fingers to his "It's not all." He whispered after few moments

"When I was seventeen, I… I got into a new school and… I wasn't in a good place… I was the awkward kid with the big clothes and glasses; they used to call me stick figure. I wasn't that into sports yet, I was more into reading, comics especially, but I'd read anything. I became the school's punching back quite fast. One day I went back home with a sprained wrist and bruises, I just remember that it hurt like hell and I wanted it to go away. I walked to the basement where my mom had some boxes with my dad's things and went through some of them and found a bottle of Vicodin completely untouched. I searched for the expiring date and saw it was a few months away so I took the bottle put everything back as they were and run to my room. I took one and it felt great… nothing hurt and I remember I felt such euphoria, I was ready to take over the world. So I hid the bottle under my pillow and walked to the bathroom, to clean up there I saw the bruises and the scars and I thought that this feeling I had… this euphoric feeling I'm never gonna have a better than that, and I thought it was a pretty good feeling to die with. At least then the pain would end forever. I walked back in my bedroom took the bottle and walked back in the bathroom. I was gonna do it. I had all the twenty nine pills in my hand ready to end it all… but then… then my mom came home and called for me. I panicked and threw them in the toilet flushed it and went downstairs. That woman gave me life and saved me too many times, most without even knowing it." He whipped the few tears that left his eyes and raised his head to see Emily staring back at him with her eyes red and the tears running freely down her cheeks. She leaned forward and hugged him silently.

"You are not alone Aaron." She whispered while pulling slightly apart. He looked at her the question of what she meant clear in his eyes.

"I was fifteen, in Rome, after I had the abortion." At the mention of Rome his hand curled around her waist as tight as he could. "For me it was smoking and cutting." She mentioned her thigh and he immediately remembered the small thin scars, almost invisible on the inside of her thighs "We're all addicted to something that takes away the pain Aaron. Some can stop it like you did, you flushed the pills down the toilet, some take some time." she said, leaning towards his side.

"When did you stop?" he asked, burring his face in her hair. "I had just turned twenty and I met a great guy, with whom I've danced and thought that one day… one day when I get in the FBI too I'll meet him again, but I had to live." He looked at her with an amused smile on his lips. "Did you happen to wear a red dress when you danced with him too?" he joked "Why yes!" she leaned closer to his arms. "No jokes though, the day I saw you in the pool August 9th, that was the last day. I quit smoking when I joined the CIA."

"I'm glad for that." He said placing his free hand on her abdomen, "Look how far we've came right?"

"We did Aaron… we did. You should have told Dr. Torres about the vicodin maybe she would have given you other pills.

"What would I have told, please give me less strong painkillers because I'm afraid I might turn into my lowlife scum of a father?" his sudden explosion threw Emily off her tracks. She reached her hands and griped his shoulders "Aaron, listen to me! You are nothing like him! You don't abuse the pills" she emphasized on the word abuse which got his attention "You were severely injured you need those pills to get better, because if you are in pain then you can't start physical therapy which both your shoulder and knee need right now! Please, promise me you'll tell Dr. Torres, or I swear to God I will!"

~o~o~o~

 _10:00_

 _Bethesda General Hospital_

 _Arlington, VA_

"Well Hotchner your tests came out really good. The fluid is reducing slightly and you seem to be responding real well in the treatment. You seemed to have dodged this bullet for now. I have to tell you that this solution might not be permanent; with the job you do sooner or later we'll have to take surgical action. But this is at least four to five years in the future!" Dr. Torres sat down on her chair in front of the examination bed her patient was sitting.

"There is something else I'd like to ask." Hotch said.

"Go ahead!"

"Is it possible to change the pain killers you've prescribed me? I had some bad past experiences with them." he responded as honestly as he could.

"Sure, I can give you Ultram, because given the extent of your injuries anything less won't do anything. Each tablet is 50mg, and you have to make sure to not exceed 400mg per day. You can take a tablet every six hours is that alright?" Hotch nodded back, "Good get dressed and let's go back in my office because your wife will be out of her mind with the delay." He watched the doctor leaving the room with a huge smile on her face which he felt passing to him as well as the edges of his mouth tugged upwards into a small smile.

~o~o~o~

 _12:00_

 _Arlington, VA_

"Can we keep driving around? I really don't want to go back home." Aaron said as Emily was ready to take the exit to home.

"Sure! Where to?" she asked.

"I don't know… just drive."

~o~o~o~

 _19.00_

 _Dave's Mansion_

Penelope and Spencer were sitting on the patio watching the changing colors of the sky in silent. Two drinks with colorful umbrellas between them.

"Do you think Hotch is alright?" she asked, Spencer had a strange sense of déjà vu, since six years ago Penelope asked the same question to him.

"I think he will be." He answered as truthfully as he could.

"But he and Emily haven't returned yet. Should we call them?" he turned his head and started straight to Penelope's eyes, "Hotch probably needs some time to think, what he said was true. I think that instead of calling him and Emily maybe we should work things out here between us." The tech analyst looked up from her drink to the man next to her, her eyes mirroring the big smile on her lips.

The two of them gathered their things and walked inside the house turning their backs at the sun that was slowly disappearing. The rest of the team was sitting in the living room, the TV was off but no one was saying a word to each other, Matt was starring at the door every few minutes when JJ dragged him and Will to the kitchen to help her make something for dinner for the kids and Hotch if he was hungry when he came back.

"Hotch was right." Penelope said breaking the silence. "He was right when he said that we're walking on eggshells around each other. We do. This should be a good thing, we're gonna have our friends we us again, they're not replacing us, they're helping, our team is not ready to go back in active duty, we've had a year from hell, we need some relaxing time. We all needed some me time to figure out what's going on in our lives."

 ** _~We're all addicted to something that takes the pain away~_**

 **A/N: This is chapter 2! Thank you for reading, please review I'd love to hear your thoughts. In Day 3 the teams finally speak and resolve some of the issues.**


	3. DAY 3: Communication

**Chapter 3: Day 3**

 **DAY 3: Communication**

 ** _~Communications needs to be HOT. That's Honest, Open and Two-way~_**

 _No one talked the previous night, and everyone was long asleep when Hotch and Emily came back. Everyone knew that they needed to have a conversation where feelings would be addressed JJ was hell bound to have all those issues addressed by the later Sunday, before they would have to work together in the BAU. Because if they went to work with this kind of war between them someone might get injured… or worse…_

 _Friday, September 2_ _nd_ _, 2016_

 _FBI Academy_

 _Quantico, VA_

 _9:00_

Aaron had no idea why he asked Elle to drive him to work, he called Emily and told her that he was going in the office but that was it. He almost barged into Elle's car and demanded to be driven to work. Not the nicest thing to do he knew that but something was telling him to go there. He walked in the BAU expecting that everyone was going to stare at him but his was pleased when no one made much of a fuss that he was back. A few agents turned their heads and smiled at him, Anderson was the bravest who actually walked to him and told him he was glad to see him back.

He walked up to his office and walked in, everything seemed to be untouched. He knew that a picture on his desk of Emily and Jack was missing because Emily told him she took it but everything else looks as if not a day passed by. The glass broken by the explosion was replaced and his carpeted floor was clean. He walked to the desk and pulled his chair back before he sat down; the familiar feeling of coming home overwhelmed him and he closed his eyes. Thinking over everything just made his head spin, telling Emily about his past, almost everything that had happened to him worked both ways, he did felt better knowing that she knows and still stands by him but caused Emily to start watching him like a hawk. Maybe that was the reason why he resorted in hiding out in his office. He loves her, he loves her to death but he can't help but notice the difference in her actions towards him. His brain is telling him that she does so because she knows what it feels like, but there is also another part of his head that it's just ready to blow everything up and leave, disappear from everything and everyone. Maybe he should track down Peter Lewis and provoke him, maybe he would then kill him and everything will be over. This thought though scared him, scared him enough to reach for the card Dr. Altman passed him yesterday when she finished removing the last of his stitches.

"Dr. Perkins"

"Hello doctor, I'm agent Hotchner, Dr. Altman gave me your number. I'd like to set an appointment, soon."

~o~o~o~

 _12:00_

 _Dave's mansion_

Although Emily knew that Aaron didn't really wanted to get away from _her_ more like wanted to get away from everything it still hurt the way he just barged into Elle's car and didn't call her to tell her that he was going to the BAU till after they had left the house. She stayed the whole morning in their bedroom not really wanting to leave and have to face the rest of them she knew that they should talk as well but she didn't want to do that right about now. She took the phone in her hands once again and thought about calling Aaron, maybe _they_ could talk but really decided against it. What really to talk about? That she was worried about him even more now that she knew what was going on with him than she was back when she didn't?

Startled she heard her phone going off on the desk across from the bed, she got up and left his pillow on the bed back where it was and walked to the desk, his picture with Jack appeared on the screen and she answered the phone as soon as she could.

"Aaron!" she breathed out in relief.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked

"Yeah, I just missed your voice." She admitted, it wasn't something that she was going to admit to anyone but it was true in the end. The admission brought a small smile on his lips as he lowered his head and turned his back to the window.

"I have to admit I missed your voice too. Even if it was just bugging me to not forget my medication in the morning." The smile on her face widens and she bit her lip "Come home and I can keep bugging you." She offered

"I can't, not yet. I got an appointment with the physiatrist Dr. Altman suggested to me." Emily kept the breath of relief from coming out when she heard the news. She was the one telling him that he needed to talk to someone as soon as possible and although he agreed on Jack talking to his old doctor he fought her tooth and nails on talking to one himself.

"When is the appointment?"

"6a.m. I'm trying to get some of my files settled here so if you could drive here around four thirty, we could get lunch and drive me to the appointment." He suggested, Emily felt a huge smile stretching her lips, she was delighted that he was letting her that much in.

"I'll be there."

~o~o~o~

 _FBI Academy_

 _Quantico, VA_

 _16:30_

Emily walked inside the bullpen looking around the people working such a familiar picture around her. She looks up the stairs at Aaron sitting at his desk he was working on some files, the old familiar frown on his face, brought a smile on Emily's who started walking towards his office.

"May I?" she asked poking her head in the office, Aaron raised his head from the paper work, he dropped the pen back on the desk and a smile grazed his tired face.

"Right on time Mrs. Hotchner." He leaned back on his chair watching Emily walking in the room and closing the door behind her. As soon as she reached his chair her hands touched his shoulders, she could feel the tension there, the tiredness and probably the pain too.

"How about we go for lunch now? You can finish the rest at home." She suggested, Aaron chuckled at the word home "Home… Emily let's not kid ourselves it's a hotel. I never thought we'd be such bad roommates."

"We need some getting used to I won't lie." She left her spot behind him and stepped between him and the desk leaning towards the furniture behind her. "But we can make it work. It won't be forever." She took his hands in hers noticing the stains from the pen here and there bring smile on her lips.

"What?" he asked noticing the smile as she watched his hands.

"How do you manage to always stain your hands with the pen?"

~o~o~o~

 _18.00_

 _Dr. Perkins' office_

To say that Hotch was scared would be an understatement, usually he's dealing with appointments like this head on, usually avoiding giving any real answer to the questions, of course on all other appointments he wasn't paying nearly $100 per hour and he wasn't there voluntary. He knew something wasn't right with him and he knew it was affecting his day to day life.

"Agent Hotchner." A tall lean man appeared on the door and Aaron stoop up with difficulty, his knee bothering a little more today than normally.

"Doctor." The two of the shake hands and Aaron followed the doctor inside the office, his eyes scanned the room, a black oak desk was sitting on the far left side of the room, on the opposite side near the door he noticed a black leather couch quite similar to the one he had in his old apartment with a small black oak coffee table and matching chairs. Various degrees and honors were hanging from the walls. For all the dark colors the room itself was really bright.

"Please take a seat agent." The doctor said showing the couch, Aaron walked slowly and sat on the couch hesitantly, "Everything alright agent?"

"Yeah, I might need some help to get up though." He mentioned his knee and settled the cane next to him. Dr. Perkins took the chair in front of him and leaned forward, close enough to be considered friendly but still far away as to not overwhelm his patient.

"I know that Dr. Altman gave you my number, and I took the liberty of asking for you medical file, but I want to hear from you what brought you here?" Aaron noticed the look on the doctor's face, it was sincere, something that puzzled him further than anything. Even more than the words that came out of his mouth next.

"I think I'm…I have some… thoughts lately which I haven't had since I was seventeen." The doctor stayed silent waiting for Hotch to keep talking "I tried to kill myself when I was seventeen and lately I thought about it again and it scared me. It scared me because I don't want to die, but I think it might be the only way to keep my family safe… from me." Hotch closed his eyes and lowered his head, all the images of his childhood flashing in front of his eyes and the fear that old fear gripping his heart of becoming his father.

"Have you tried anything?" the question startled him and he looked up to see the doctor looking back at him with a look of concern on his face.

"No, I thought about it, a few times." The doctor nodded.

"Okay, here's what we'll do. It's obviously a good thing that you seek help, it means that you realized that there is a problem and that's always the first step. We need to find out what caused it, I want you to think back to the first time, how old were you?"

"Fourteen." Hotch whispered.

"You were 14 the first time you thought about killing yourself?" Hotch nodded but couldn't utter a word. "What happened to make the 14 year old you think about suicide?" Perkins saw the whole posture of his patient changing, he became stiff and the grip he had on the couch got stronger. "I don't wanna talk about it." He muttered under his breath, Perkins took a note knowing that he probably struck some of the roots of the problem.

"Alright we'll come back to that. What happened now and you started thinking about suicide again?" Perkins gladly noticed that his patient's shoulders slacked and the grip on the couch softened.

"I got arrested." Hotch took some breaths trying to calm down his breathing. "The DOJ and the CTU of the FBI thought I was a home grown terrorist and they arrested me at home… in front of my son." Hotch willed the tears filling his eyes to stop, he felt as if he was a mess, everything around him spinning, talking about it didn't feel like that when he was talking to Emily. What was so different now.

"Probably because she is your wife." Hotch looked up startled, he didn't realize he said the last part out loud. "It's supposed to feel different. Talking to your wife, is supposed to feel comforting, it's supposed to cover the wounds talking to me it's supposed to uncover the wounds, you're here to open all wounds and make sure they're healed correctly, it's supposed to hurt before the comfort comes." Perkins looked into the tortured eyes.

"Our hour is almost up and usually I don't jump into hard things in the first appointment, you are married correct?" Hotch nodded at the doctor's question.

"How long?"

"It's been a seven years and nine months." The doctor noticed the small smile fighting to appear on the agent's face.

"And how long are the two of you together?"

"Well on and off eight years." The doctor couldn't but notice how the small smile fell from his face.

"Was it an easy marriage?"

"Oh god no! We fought a lot. Broke up and got back together again and again."

"But you never thought of divorce." a sad look appeared over Hotch's face "Well she probably should. We did. Almost… had the papers ready but we never went through with it. I couldn't."

"Apparently neither did she." The response from the doctor shocked Hotch who raised his head and looked at the man in front of him with the unsaid question apparent on his face. "You are still together, she didn't send you another batch of the divorce papers, she didn't file, and she gave it another go and its working. What I want you to take away from today's appointment is this: She's your rock apparently, use her, talk things over with her and if that's going to make you feel better she can be here with you as well." The two men stayed in silence for a while before the doctor got up and gave his hand to Hotch to help him up from the couch.

"I'll expect your call to set another appointment whenever you feel ready." Perkins said leading Hotch to the door.

"I will."

~o~o~o~

 _19.00_

Hotch walked outside the building relieved to see Emily waiting for him there leaning against a wall with a big smile on her lips.

"Hey." She said when he was close enough, "Hey" his voice was barely audible but Emily didn't comment on it, she wrapped her arm around his waist and he wrapped his around her shoulder leaning softly towards her.

"Let's go home. Dave wants to talk to us, all of us." She said and Aaron could barely withhold his groan.

~o~o~o~

 _20.00_

 _Dave's Mansion_

Everyone was sitting on the dining room apart from the kids that were already upstairs in their rooms.

"I wanted to talk to you all about what's going on in this house. I knew from the beginning that living all together wouldn't be easy, that it would be challenging, but I also knew that we are a family and we would work everything out in the end. I know a lot of things are changing and we haven't dealt with them the right way, but this ends now. We've got a mountain in front of us and if we're not together then we're never going to overcome it. Deal?" Dave looked around at the faces of his family.

"Deal." The answered together.

 ** _~Communication makes a team strong~_**

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay but all the news about Thomas Gibson got me down and couldn't write anything. This chapter isn't exactly what I wanted but it's the best I could do. I hope I'll be able to update soon but sadly I can't promise anything. Please review and let me know whether you like the chapter or not. Or for ideas as well, I don't mind.**

 **Love you all, till next time,**

 **Bye!**


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